36 Years later, why I wish every young manager could meet their own “Ed Ronan.”
In my culture consulting work, I am frequently asked “What is the most important anchoring value for young managers to adopt as they navigate the journey of increased risk-taking, mastering technical challenges and evermore responsibility for other persons’ careers? “
My answer hasn’t changed in years:
Learn how to express your authentic self – and create an environment to encourage others to do the same. Then live that value every day of your career, adapting behaviors, not who you are–as the need arises.
I didn’t learn this from a textbook or training. I learned it – thankfully – by observing a model – an impressive person in action.
In my late 20s, I was already climbing the ladder – driven, results-oriented, and known for getting the job done with very high standards. I pushed my teams hard, almost as hard as I pushed myself. I cared deeply about them, but I didn’t yet have the management craft or habits – to make that care felt.
I was told I was “tough, funny, intelligent,” but I knew I was missing something.
Empathy.
Why the gap? Maybe I was too busy proving myself – working extra hard to overcome what I felt I lacked: an MBA, thirty years in the industry, or, frankly, being male in a male-dominated field.
Whatever the reason, I didn’t know how to show empathy without looking “soft.” So, I built a tougher work persona and embodied it every day. It was exhausting.
Fortunately, I found a model to observe and emulate to adopt this empathy skill. His name was Ed Ronan. Ed was a senior executive who sat in the corner office diagonally across from my (much smaller) office and the low-walled cubicles of my team. Multiple times a day, Ed crossed the floor to his office and each time, he chose to engage. He’d pause to ask about someone’s weekend, a sports score, or what was new in the Boston scene (no small effort as he was originally a New Yorker and that usually creates tension with native Bostonians )
These weren’t performative gestures. Ed meant what he asked. He’d listen, joke and laugh, offer encouragement – and move on. No fanfare. Just authentic connection.
He didn’t care if someone was junior or senior. His demeanor was the same: generous, grounded, and real. Ed didn’t posture. He didn’t pretend. He was still all business, but he showed up – as himself. None of which made him seem less driven or less serious about business results.
And people noticed. People benefitted.
I know I did.
I had a front row seat to observe these behaviors and learned to adapt them to my own style. I loosened the toughness (well, maybe just a little). I witnessed the positive effect of his modeled behavior and have refined the lessons throughout my entire career. These behaviors have consistently made me feel more synchronized with my authentic self and authentically engaged with my staff, peers and the organization at large.
Who is one of your models? What management behaviors did you learn this way?